I have decided on a new alias for when I go bowling.

I have decided the people at Chevy are crazy if they think I’d prefer their Aveo to a breakdancing transformer.

I have decided I’ll stick with Continental.

Seriously.

I have decided Koreans are much more civil when it comes to baseball brawls.

I have decided I need to investigate more exciting ways to get dressed.

I have decided someone needs a time out.

I have decided if you can’t run the coffee maker, you can’t run the country.

I have decided their running is better than my running.

I have decided they may need to enlarge those masks.

I have decided any candidate with 3-point range and passing skills at least deserves serious consideration.

I have decided I should stop complaining about spiders.

I have decided toxic waste, dangerous as it may be, can produce interesting things.

I have decided that few people have inspired me more.

I have decided some stereotypes will never die.

I have decided there is nothing more terrifying than a spanish-speaking clown with judo skills.

I have decided there is a new standard for die-hard sports fans.

I have decided that kissing your opponent is poor strategy in hand-to-hand combat.

I have decided it is only a matter of time.

I have decided Barkley is to golf, as Obama is to bowling.

I have decided Kobe jumps higher than most.